Giving up? {39}

Quwa;*

Sha5barkoum?

1. I'm really happy la2ana A LOT of my silent readers are not silent any more! THANK YOU:*

2. This post goes to Anon N:**

Enjoy it;*
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Bibi didn’t move an inch.

Bibi ba6lay el bab!

She closed her eyes and a tear escaped her eyelid.

"Magdar" she whispered.

Her breathing was quickening she closed her eyes trying to keep her breathing steady.

Munera started knocking on the door harder.

BIBI BA6LAY EL BAB WALA ANDE ZAYOOD YAKSIRA!

Bibi sat straight put her hand on her head a5 rase thgeel ,she walked with heavy steps to the door … unlocked it

Munera: *gasp* shfech?

Bibi's eyes were red from crying, her

Bibi threw herself on bed, Munera rushed and sat beside her.

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He entered the house and it was dark.

Bandar was walking to his room when he passed by his mother and not even looking at her.

Bandar?

He stopped: na3am yuma?

Ha 7abebe 3asa istanast?

A5aih ya yuma law tadren 3an ele i9ar

He just nodded.

Ti9ba7 3ala 5air 7abebe

Wintay mn ahala

He didn’t turn around he didn’t want to face her, what if she asks him about what happed today or what's wrong with what would he say?

Bandar walked to his room, he tried to take a deep breath… but he felt like was out of breath … like her wasn’t breathing

He threw himself on his bed

Put his hand on his chest… his heart was aching

He sat on his bed closed his eyes and saw her face… her sad face, her tears, and the way his heart aced when he saw pain in her eyes.
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-Saturday-

Bandar was a huge part of her life, she spent exactly 14 days working with him on the project, she knew his favorite color, shared some of her funny childhood memories and talked to him about her parents, Bibi got used on having him around her but she got rejected by him which broke her heart.

She bit her lips and held her pillow tighter.

Laish sawa fena chithi laish?

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

Bas lazm ma afakir feh
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Bandar pulled a file and then a paper fell on the floor, he grabbed it and smiled… it was the funny drawing that bibi drew when she was trying to show Bandar her artistic side, his heart ached at the thought of her, he missed her and he tried with all his power not to show it.
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Bibi put her mobile on silent mode, put her head on the pillow and closed her eyes.

Bachr youm ydeed O sa3eed

She tried to giggle after the rhythm that she made but couldn’t.

bachr youm ydeed o sa3eed 7ata law Bandar ma kan feeh!

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

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.

LA2 YA BANDAR LA2!

Bandar: laish la2! yuma hatha 8arare o ma ra7 atraja3 3ana!

Mother: bas ya yuma-

Bandar: yuma tikfaain...

Giving up? {38}

Quwa;*

1. Thank you for ur supportive comments bil last post ur really made my feel better;**

2. This post goes to my new "ex silent readers" Anon S and Anon Zee:*


Enjoy it;*

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Bibi: Bandar tyene 7alat a7tajik feeha bas 3umri ma 7asaitik mi7tajle!

Bandar was silent

BANDAR! mi7tajtik ti7tajni!

Bandar: ma agdar!

Bibi: laish?!

Bandar: Bibi ana ma a7taj a7ad yasnid 3alay ana th3ef!

He sighed.

Bibi: la Bandar inta mo th3eef! Mo la2ana obok yshoofik th3eef ma3anata hal 7achi 9ij!

Bandar: etha i3timadtay O tisanadtay 3ala el nass-

Bibi: Bandar inta mo ay insan! Bandar ana… ana-

Bandar: la! La intay ma *sigh* ana bas kasir 5a6rich, la2ani lal7en ansab wan6ag mn oboy wana rayal shkubri! Ana kasir 5a6rich la2ani th3eef o mahzooz mn da5el

Bibi: Bandar inta mo th3eef!

Bandar: Bibi mabe a9er jiz2 mn 7ayat ay a7ad!

Bibi: Bandar inta 9irt jiz2 mn galbi!

His heart aced when she said that sentence, he sighed and went closer to her and cupped her face with his hands

Bandar: Bibi

Her eyes teared up

Bandar sighed: Bibi…ana mo misti3id! Mo misti3id ine akon mohim 3ind a7ad! Mo misti3id ine anfigid… ana 6ool 3umri 3ayish broo7i ib hdoo2 o min3izil 3an el nass! Ma7ad yafgidni wala afgid a7ad! Mo misti3id ina y9er 3indi i7sas itijah ay sha59, Bibi-

He brushed his hand on her wet cheek.

Bandar: el wagt 5adar masha3ri ma gimt a7is, ma gimt a7is ib ay shay, el dinya tamshi fene wana ib nafs mukani ma ata7arak!

Bibi: laish *sniff* Bandar laish tsawi fena chithi?

Bandar: la2anich tistahlain wa7id a7san mini, ana ma astahlich

Bibi: Bandar la tgool chithi!

A tear fell on her face, he wiped it away.

Bandar: Bibi intay tistahlain wa7id a7san mini! 7awlay tifhmene!

And he left, he left her and walked to his car.

Bibi rushed inside the house and ran to her room and threw herself on the bed and cried

She cried because she loved him!

She cried because he left!

She cried because she got rejected!

Bibi just stayed in bed and cried…

Tadron?

Tadron ine wayed malgoofa o abid6 el chabd?! Ee na3am ana abi6 el chabd! Ana shallah 7adne ata7acha? Haa gololee? Shallah 7aaaaaadne?! A9lan laish ta7achait! Ana 7alatne sakta o ma a3a6e raye ib shay wala a3ali8 3ala shay la2ane dayman anfihim '3ala6! O La2ane 9aree7a o 9ara7te dayman tijra7houm! Fa laish at7acha?! Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaish? Shmi3na ana lama a7ad yjra7ne ib kalma askit o ma agol shay wa5ish ib galbi?! Laish ma a9er nafs.houm?!

O azeedkoum mn el sh3ir bait! Ele rash mil7 3al jar7 ina ma 3inde a7ad a6ali3 7arite 3inda! Wanasa mo?! A8ath shay bil dinya lama el wa7id ykoun 7ail 3ala niyata o ma ya89id shay mo zain ib kalama bas yinfihim kalama 100% el 3ax !!

Giving up? {37}

Quwa;*

1. Shlonkoum?!

2. Lajlik tit'3ayar fi9ool tam6ir el '3ayma ib 3youni , tazhir jbaal o s.hoool i'67akeeeeeee biya o bdoooon 9adgeeeeeeneeeeee! <--- m3alga ib rasi

3. I just wrote 2 ipic posts! el post el yaya wele 3ugba! :p

Enjoy it;**

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Uff wain i5tifa?

Bibi walked to the empty part of the garden, it was so dark and quite.

she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, adri ina mo jawa bas ham shda3wa ra7 imbachr chithi!

Then she felt a light tap on her shoulder, she slowly turned around. And found Bandar with a smile on his face, she smiled back.

Bandar: quwa

Bibi: allah ygawik

Bibi and Bandar kept on staring at each other he couldn’t take his eyes off her and she started blushing.

Bibi: wain i5tifait?

Bandar: ma i5tfait

Bibi raised an eyebrow he giggled and sat on a chair, Bibi sat next to him

Bandar: shiftich ashartay 3ala 3i9am o umm--

Bibi: eee?

Bandar: o 3abali inch btroo7en--

Bibi: eeeeeeee?

Bandar rubbed his forehead and giggled.

Bibi tried to hide her smiled, he was too cute!

Bibi Bandar y'3aaaar!: um lal7en ma fahamt! Laish i5tfait?!

Bandar: china el jaw ista3dal el youm

Bibi giggled: kilish mo chithi ythay3oon el salfa!

Bandar smiled: uff shtabene agoolich?

Bibi: gooley laish faj2a i5tifait wishda5al 3i9am bil mawthoo3?

Bandar: shiftich yaya 9oobi ba3dain faj2a gimtay t2ashreen 3ala 3i9am o gilt ina Yimkin kintay taben-

Bibi: Bandar kint yaytik

Bandar smiled.

Bibi: bas yaditi wagifatni ts2alne 3ana, yaditi refeejat omi '3aneema

Bandar nodded.

Bibi: Bandar inta t'3aar?

She wiggled her eyebrows, he laughed.

Bandar: a'3ar?!

Bibi: ee t'3ar mn 3i9am!

Bandar: 3ala mno?

Bibi blushed: 3ala mno ya3ni? Yaditi?!

Bandar laughed: la ma a'3ar mina 3ala yaditich

Bibi: waaaaaay Bandar la tista3bi6!

Bandar smiled.

Bibi: el mohim! Shele '3ayar rayik laish yet?

Bandar: Zaid 3azamne o ma ba'3ait arida

Bibi: aha! Ana tridne bas Zaid ma yinraad!

Bandar nodded: bil thab6

Bibi gasped and stood up: Bandar! Inta mfanash! 5alaaaaaaaaaa9 ana fanashtik!

Bandar giggled: ta3alay yuba ta3alay el wa7id ma yit'3ashamr ma3ach?

Bibi: hahahaha '3ashmartik wayed t'6a7ik!

Bandar grabbed her hand and pulled her next to him, she sat closer to him than earlier ,They were quite for a while, his hand brushed into her's and she got goose bumps.

Bibi?

Hmm

Bandar: shlonch al7en?

Bibi smiled: a7san

Bandar smiled.

Bibi: Bandar?

Bandar: na3am?

Bibi: ma tla7ith ina ana etha 9arat 3indi mishkila bsir3a agoolik ele ib galbi! O ma a5alee shay ma agoola

Bandar nodded.

Bibi: laish inta ma tgoole ele ib galbik? Sa3at a7isik mahmoom bas ma tit7acha! Wasa7ib el 7achi minik tisi7ib!

Bandar sighed.

Bibi: Bandar tyene 7alat a7tajik feeha bas 3umri ma 7asaitik mi7tajle!

(1) اليك

!قالت لي صديقة في لقاء "شبه اخير" بيننا ..."اكتبي له كلما خطر ببالك"... اكتبي له
...سأكتب
...سأكتب
لعل النسيان يسكن الذاكرة
لعل البرود يحيط القلب

و لعل الجراح تلتأم

(1)

إليك

تترسم ملامحك حزناً على وجهي.

Giving up? {36}

Quwa;*

1. 3EEEEEEEEDKOUM MBARAK!:**

2. This long post is my 3eediya 7agkoum! Enjoy it;**

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Grandfather ma3a8ola Zaid mo 7as bili bain Bibi o Bandar?! Wala ana ele i7sasi '3ala6?

Zaid: el 3ayla zaina o rabi3ik mn 3umr aked Bibi ma ra7 tmani3!

Bibi: Bibi ma ra7 tmani3 shno?!

The grandfather and Zaid turned around & found Bibi standing with a shocked face.

Zaid: inch ma ra7 tman3en inch titzawjan 7afeed bo 3eesa Al flani

Bibi: mno bo 3eesa?!

Zaid: rifeej yadi


Bibi: Zayood inta 3ala ay asas 8arart o gilt ine ma ra7 amani3?!

Zaid: huh Baboon sh.hal 7achi! El walad a9la 6ayib o ahla 7abebeen o-

Bibi felt like she was in the danger zone! 7afeed bo 3eesa?! Aked yadi ib yist7i yrida! O 9ij 5osh nass o 3ayla 6ayiba o la7tha la7tha ana shgai3d a5arbi6?! Ana a7ib Bandar

Then Bibi suddenly gasped.

Zaid: shfech?!

Grandfather: smila 3alaich

ABAIH ANA SHGILT?! ANA A7IB BANDAR?!

Zaid: Baboon shfech?!

Bibi: haa?! Mafene shay bas nisait agool 7ag rose t7i6 el 3a9eer!!

Bibi rushed out of the living room and sat on a bench in the garden.

She took a deep breath, and sat there for fifteen minutes.
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.
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BABOOOOOOOOOOOOON

Bibi: na3aaam?!

Munera: wainich?!

Bibi: kani!

Munera: haw shfech ga3da hne?! yalla tara yaw wayed nas!!

Bibi: inzain kani yaya

Bibi looked around, tucked her hair behind her ear and walked into the crowed.

Bibi: hala 3i9am.. ahlain Mona…tamam intay shlonch? Hi Sawsan keefek ya 7ilwa?! Hala wala..

She kept on greeting all the gests and her mind was only thinking about one! Bandar..

Yimkin hawan o ma ra7 iye
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Mama '3aneema stood still with her eyes widened, she felt someone nudge her

Munera: haw shfech mama '3aneema!

Mama '3aneema: hatha?! Hatha Bandar?

Munera: eee!! Laish min9adma!

It was him! The man that helped her with the grocers! The guy that she kept talking about for a whole week, she remembered her words very clearly " Ya 7ilwa law shayfita ya Baboona!! Shloun sa3adni ib a'3rathi O masken kan besheel 3ani el chyas, bas ana ma rithait tadren ba3ad fashla" and she remembered talking to Munera and telling her that Bandar Al flani wasn’t a great candent to marry her grandchild.

Munera: MAMA '3ANEEMA !

Mama '3anema: bismallah! Na3am?

Munera: shfech?

Mama '3aneema: ma fene shay!

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Bibi looked around trying to find a friendly face! Trying to find a person that she can actually have a "true" conversation with, the only name that was ringing in her head was BANDAR!
She walked around and then saw a familiar figure standing and talking to Zaid, her smile grew wider aked Bandar!

Bibi walked towards them, when she was a few steps away from him she felt a hand pulling her.

AHHH!

Shuuuuuuush!

Bibi turned around and found Munera.

Bibi: shfech yal 5ibla?

Munera: ana 5ibla! Wain kintay raza wayhich!

Bibi: kint baroo7 asalim 3ala Bandar!

Munera: malat! Thiglay! El rayal tawa wa9il! Ni6ray shway! 5aleeeh ydawir shway 3ala ma ylageech! Mo boom awal ma wi9al intay ib wayha!

Bibi giggled: 7athir!

Munera: yalla! Roo7ay dawreelich a7ad solfay ma3ah 3ala ma aroo7 asalim 3ala Bandar wasawi nafsi madri wainich

Bibi laughed: inzain!

Bibi entered the house to go get her mobile ufff waina!

Bibi: Roooooose! Wain my mobile?!

Rose: maybe upstairs!

Bibi: go look for it please

Bibi sat on the couch while waiting for Rose to bring her mobile.

Baboona yuma laish mo ga3da bara?

Bibi: tawni da5alt an6ir Rose tyeble mobiley

Mama '3aneema: inzain ro7ay jablay el ma3azeem wana an6ir Rose

Bibi nodded: ok
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Munera noticed Bandar looking around.

Waaaaaaaaay zoo8a ydawir Baboon!!

Zaid: ha?

Munera: ha? *nervous laugh*

Zaid: huh shfech Manora? shgiltay tawa?

Munera: ma gilt shay! ytarawalik 7abebe

Zaid shrugged his shoulders: ok

Bibi: Manora…. MANOOORA!

Munera grabbed Bibi's arms and walked away from Zaid.

Munera: ydawrich!

Bibi: huh?

Munera: ufff! Intaw el '3aba2 shakla mitwarath 3indkoum bil 3ayla!

Bibi giggled: yalla 3ad 5al9ene shno!

"Bandar ydawrich!" Munera whispered.

Bibi turned around and found Bandar standing, her heart skipped a beat and she smiled there he was, the only person that knew Bibi! The real Bibi not the boss and definitely not the girl that lost her parents! Everyone saw him as the quite mysterious Bandar but Bibi knew him! She knew the real Bandar the funny and loving Bandar… the Bandar that handled his cruel heartless father for 28 years!


She looked back at Munera: aroo7 wala an6ira iyene?

Munera giggled and whispered: roo7ay!

Bibi walked towards Bandar but her grandmother stopped her.

Baboona?

Bibi stopped: na3am?

Mama '3aneema: hach mobileych 7abebti

Bibi smiled: mashkora

Mama '3anema: ila agool Babona

Bibi: na3am?

Mama '3aneema: ay wa7id 3i9am el flani?

Bibi looked around and pointed on 3i9am: kaho laish?

Mama '3aneema: ya7laaalaih, yadita refejti

Bibi: aha

Mama '3aneema: 5al aroo7 asalim 3alaih, hmmm tyen ma3ay?

Bibi: la, salamt 3alaih

Mama '3aneema walked towards 3i9am, Bibi looked in front of her but didn’t find Bandar.

Haw tawa kan wagif jidami wain ra7?!

She looked around but didn’t find him, wain i5tifa?!

لا تعلي الصوت

لا تعلي الصوت
. يكفي الضجيج الذي يملئها
صور و أشياء كثيرة تحوم حولها
...و كلهم ذات سفر
و كلهم يوفون له و يخلفوها

أقول " نلجأ للعتمة عندما نعتقد أنها احّن علينا
ولا تقول شيء
لا يصل الصوت يا صديقي ... ولن يصل
يقتلعني غيابهم من ذاتي
أتكور , أموت و أحيا و ابتسم و ابكي ..كلها في ذات اللحظة

:تقول
"كم من الوقت نمتي يا صغيرتي "
!نمت العمر بأكمله و أرغموني الإستيقاظ

لا تحاربي من ليس له سلاح له إلا البكاء"

تأبط سعادتك ..عين الله تحرسك
و عين السماء ستظل تـُصيبني

* Bachr rmthan o 3iguba el 3eed daritaw?, I'll be posting the next post of the story awal youm 3eeed enshallah ;)*